Who do I
blame credit for this month’s challenge?
*ponders until the proverbial lightbulb comes on*
I think I remember what happened — it went something like this, Detective Alzo …
WRITTEN CONFESSION (March 2013)
What happened was the result of a couple of conversations, that split, merged, contorted, converted and inverted simultaneously then exploded EVERYWHERE, that’s when “Professor Lynn” (LynnPal) came back from wherever she was at and said that she loved it!
[Shakes head] I don’t know, Sargeant, I was just minding my own business, having gathered up my good suit to go out for the evening (FEB28) with MiLady to a dinner theatre performance for my 50th birthday. The tickets were a gift from her and our children.
“Where do I start?”
With my first mistake, which happened at mid-day. I decided to look into my Twitter and Facebook feeds to see which friends were where and doing what, when, with whom.
Most of the genealogy girls were carrying on about fearless women … No, I don’t know who started it, but I put in my two cents about “Mothers’ Trees.”
An example looks something like these:
Then the conversation branched off, mutated into some challenge or what-not, then re-converged.
I think “the Pirate Queen” started it and then “Alaska” and a few others jumped on the band wagon — excuse me, Party Boat! And I remember there was one fashionably late arrival, she boarded the gangplank with a Margarita in each hand! (Didn’t spill a drop … didn’t share either.).
Then I find out that the instigator behind it all wasn’t even there! Some mastermind named Lisa, who planned this some four years ago to the finest detail, had enough influence to start a maddening riot of pirate women in black cocktail dresses and matching high heels with full access to an open bar!
That’s when it happened! I was shanghai’d — dragged on-board, kicking, screaming and biting — you will tell the young lady that I had all my shots, right, Officer? — into the melee of a challenge: something about those fearless women, again, or some such.
I don’t know why, but I thought of the late Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon from “Some Like It Hot” (1958) with the late Marilyn Monroe — where the lads dresssed in drag. If they could pull that off, I could at least pull off high heels, right?
Wrong! [second mistake]
I looked EVERYWHERE for a pair that could fit me — not in this house, MiLady is a size 4! I could only get three toes in each shoe … can’t dance … can’t walk … can’t even stand up! So, it will have to wait.
No. No, Officer, I volunteered to wear them — I’ve worn them once before in high school. Another dare — the school was raising money for cancer. If $5000 was raised, everyone on the football team (including the coaches) would wear their football jerseys and a pair of high heels for a day.
It wasn’t that big a deal really — except trying to climb stairs … or drive a car … or walk with a normal (three foot) stride. Had to learn to walk all over again; put-one-foot-in-front-of-the-other concept. All was good until the next day, when I woke up with swollen feet and couldn’t walk.
But anyway, it wasn’t fair what these pirate women did, I was outnumbered 5:1 at the time — and, and, there are far more of them now, Officer, because they were having a recruiting drive when they nabbed me.
And … you probably don’t believe me. But, that’s okay, just gather them together — they meet next Friday night for another cocktail party (BYOB: Bring Your Own Beverages) — and ask them for some I.D. They all have Pirate Club cards — and they gave me an “honorary” one, ya know … it’s in the mail.
— Lovingly dedicated to all the women in my life, both kith and kin. To spend any day in high heels, you are brave beauties and fearless females … and maybe a wee bit daft, but I still respect you.
— And to the lovely ladies I consider mentors and call “colleagues” (yes, there’s a story behind *that* one too!), who did not have much of a choice getting their names dragged into this:
- Jen Baldwin “the Pirate Queen,”
- “Detective” Lisa Alzo,
- “Professor” Lynn Palermo,
- Caroline “Lady Margarita” Pointer, and
- Catherine “Alaska!” Pendleton